all_is_truth | We don't need no education!

Who: The Flea
Where: In and around the park by the hospital.
What: An eight year old super powered kid and a crazy city get in a fight and...

"Citizen Flea..."

"Whoa, that's a cool title. Is that like being an envoy? Some friends of mine got to meet an envoy and they said he was kind of boring but maybe I could be cooler!"

"...you are in violation of..."

"Nuh-uh I totally looked both ways before crossing that street!" And to be fair he'd taken the extra precaution of bouncing across via the street light instead of walking where there could be traffic! He knew the rules! "Hey how come you don't have any cars anyway? Were people throwing them? I guess it'd be a good reason not to have any if people were but what happens when you wanna go somewhere?"

"...transportation is per-"

"And that's another thing, this is a park, where's the ice cream man?"

"The position has a vacancy."

"Aw man, that sucks. Everyone should want to be an ice cream man you know? I could totally do that! Bounce around and sell ice cream!" And eat a good chunk of it but hey, who was counting?

"Underage citizens cannot be employed."

"...uh, okay? Then how am I gonna get money for the ice cream man?"

"...students are allotted a stipend to cover living expenses."

Wow, that sounded...kinda important? "My mom gives me a dollar for ice cream, is it like that?"

"You are not a student."

"Sooo...no? Not like that? And I am you know, a student, at PS238. I'd show you the secret locker and stuff if you could go there!"

"Citizen Flea needs to be enrolled in classes."

Oh, he knew that one! "My parents gotta sign forms!"

"Underage citizens are required to attend school."

"Boooring! I thought you were kinda cool but you want me to go to school when I'm not allowed to yet? What happens to my English project then? I spent two whole hours on that and it has to be for the school I attend!"

"Ambient temperatures are well within tolerance levels."

"...okay? Yay? Anyway, I gotta talk to some things here and I'll tell my mom to send you the papers!" Totally! He wouldn't forget!

"Citizen Flea you are in violation of..."

"Nu-uh! I totally read the sign! I have until dusk before park closes! Which is kinda like dust you know? Dussssk. It's like sunset after sunset but kinda dusty looking so I guess that makes sense! But it's a name of a cartoon character too did you know that? But she's not really dusky or dusty, she'd kinda just normal looking and her powers don't got anything to do with the sun!"

"...my records indicate no citizen Dusk."

"Too bad that would have been cool and I could help her get a better name!"

"If you would please halt and go to the school grounds for orientation..."

"You're really not good at the kids thing are you? Anyway, there's some ants here and that's awesome! I don't want to be rude or anything but you're loud and you'll scare them! So just...pipe down okay?"

Ah, the city really hadn't been thinking when it got it's hands on this one.

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A few hours later Roy showed up, "Hey. The city sent me to find some kid named 'Flea'. Would 'Flea' please present himself to the blind teacher?"

Edited 2015-04-23 00:34 (UTC)

"Huh? 'The Flea'! I'm THE flea!" he noted, bouncing to the top of a wall. "Did you know there's a giant venus fly trap back in here?!"

"I don't know what that is, and again I am blind." he said with a sigh, "My name is Roy Mustang and I got drafted into being the education system."

"...uh, okay, then don't go wandering in the park because a giant plant might eat you." That summed up 'Venus Flytrap' right? "Hello Mr. Mustang. Does that mean you the principal AND the janitor? And what about lunch lady?"

"I am not the janitor. I guess I'm probably most of those other things, but I don't cook. Again: blind."

"..." YES THE UTTER, BAFFLED SILENCE WA AUDIBLE! "...why would that stop you from cooking?" He obviously didn't get it.

Obviously blind was less a handicap in his world!

"Because my friend the doctor gets really unhappy when I show up having hacked into my hand with a sharp knife." he said dryly.

"...that's why they make armor gloves," he noted. "I saw it in a commercial! It's the lots of link kind? Um, chains? I dunno, I never wear armor but still they make whole gloves and you can go cut stuff!"

"Or I can go out to eat, or bring Khem the ingredients for food and she'll cook. She really enjoys cooking." and Roy liked spending time with his friend. "I have plenty of other talents."

"Oh, yeah, but it's not good to eat out all the time my mom says! Usually when my dad is saying something about swords in the kitchen though so I think it might be an adult joke thing because how could burgers be bad?" RIGHT?!

...

"Is she the Home Ec teacher?"

"Your mother is probably right, but I do what I need to do. Khem is the doctor." he said with a sigh. This...was going to be a pain. He could already tell.

"Uh, is this an 'adults not contradicting each other' thing? Because I heard guys in the Bachelor Club eat out a lot. I have no idea what that club is but hey, it sounds cool!" Mainly because they could eat out and not do laundry and stuff.

He'd like clean underwear though. Hmmmm. "Do bachelors just keep buying underwear?"

"Bachelors are men who are not married." he said absently, "It's pretty much up to adults to figure out the best balance for themselves. Your parents, however, are who makes the rules for you. So if your mother says not to eat out too much, don't."

Then he looked baffled, "No, why would they? Laundry is easier to do, even if you don't hire it out."

"And there's a club for that? That's weird." Just saying! Or maybe it was adults that were weird! "And yeah, okay, mom is usually right anyway and not just because she has a sword you know?"

"...but mom says they don't do laundry."

"It's not an actual club." Roy said, shaking his head, "It's a joke adults tell. Mostly adult women. I can assure you that I do laundry, because smelling awful is not something I want to do."

"Awwwww, that's sad, I bet it could have been cool with decoder rings and stuff! I got one of those once but no one else had one so no one got my messages!" That had been kind of annoying!

"I did work as part of a conspiracy once." he offered the kid, "I'll tell you about it if you walk to school with me."

"Hey my school has one of those!" At least he'd heard someone mutter about a school conspiracy once! Sometimes the grumpy reporter lady was fun to follow around! "Is it like a baseball team? We don't really have one of those because that would blow our identities and stuff but we got to play baseball once anyway!"

He turned to walk towards the school, ambling along with; "A conspiracy is a group of people doing something clandestinely."

"...destinies have clans? That's like a tribe right? But a destiny isn't like a real person or anything it's a...destiny." Why yes he was following along atop a wall! "Like fate! It's a thing in like a time line not a person so it can't have a clan. Unless people with destinies live together?"

"I know it sounds like it should be that, but it isn't." he said with a shake of his head, "Clandestine means secret in a way that's deceptive. In this case we were trying to stop a very evil creature, but that evil creature had all the obvious power so we had to be sneaky."

"...oh. So like ninjas?" Because ninjas were cool! "Strike from the shadows and stuff! Did the badguy throw you off a jet? I'm trying to find out who else gets tossed off planes because that's a thing."

We don't need no education!

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